Required Anonymity

The Price.

2012-01-23T22:39:00.000-08:00

Everything has a price. Whether the loaf of bread at the grocery store or the smile of your child, something must be paid.

Sometimes, you pay for your item before you receive it; sometimes you pay after. We’re not big on credit in this house, we like to pay in advance. My implants? Paid before surgery. Our wedding? Completely paid for in advance (including a few things that shouldn't have been).

We do have a mortgage on our house and we did have a loan on our car when we bought it new in 2003, but it’s now paid off.

I don’t like debt.

Right now, I’m in the middle of one of the hardest years of my life to date. And I entered it willingly. *Yes, I’m aware that I’m insane, tyvm.

The cost of following our dream and moving to the west coast is a large one, and multi-faceted. We left behind family. We left behind friends. We left behind babysitters! We left behind every support network we had.

We started over.

We’ve made new friends. We’ve found new babysitters. We’re slowly building a new web of support network.

Everything about this move was incredibly easy. Until after we actually moved. The first 3 months were the hardest, especially for me and my son. We had a very hard time adjusting, but we made it, we survived. But it was only the down-payment.

Now, the balance I knew I would have to pay is requiring payment, and it sucks. Giant Hairy Monkey Balls.

There are people I haven’t seen for 6 months. And have no idea when I will see again. People very important to me. The hope was I could return for a visit this coming March, but that hope is gone. I do not know when I’ll be able to return. The darkness seems endless. I *know* there is a light, it’s around a bend up ahead, but the frustration of not knowing when is starting to bubble over. Needs that are starting to realize they’re not going to be met anytime soon.

The need to see my sister, my best friend. To see some of my closest friends and chosen family.

The need to see my Sir. To see my boy. The beasts they feed inside me.

The need to be able to afford a babysitter so my husband and I can go on a date, together.

And yet I am blessed beyond my wildest dreams with how well our family has adjusted to our new life. I love our new home, the new schools and teachers, our new friends. Every day I wonder in amazement at how awesome our life is because we took a chance to follow our dream.

But these needs, these beasts, they crawl under my skin. They itch and make me ache. They make me shake and cry.

I hurt.

And then I feel guilty and ashamed that I hurt (ensuring that I cry even more). This is the price I knew I would have to pay, I have no right to complain.

That house, the one we have a mortgage on, the one we left, still chains us. It pulls us down, every. single. day. And every day it gets harder and harder to fight to stay positive, to remember that there is a light, that the payment *will* be made in full. Then we will have the rest of our lives to fully enjoy this leap that we've made.

Random things

2011-08-14T21:51:00.000-07:00

I've been encouraged to keep this posting to this blog, so, in lieu of an actual post (because all my good ideas are right before falling asleep), some more random things I've ... discovered.

I heart biting. Really really hard biting, that leaves a welt or an invisible bruise. And then pressure so deep it spasms as the pain is rubbed away.

I'm afraid of posting on my blog about things I don't like. Both of my Sirs "stalk" me to keep track of me, and I don't want them using my dislikes against me.

That being said, I really really really hate delaying orgasms. The kind where I'm brought to the edge and then not allowed, until like the next day! (and then, the evil one has a bad headache, so there will be no orgasming tonight, either) Just... GAH!

And lest you worry about those two evil men stalking me, don't worry, I stalk them right back!

I'm growing more comfortable with my dominate side. Once I figured out that I just needed to top the same way I liked to be topped, well, it got sooooo much easier! (DUH!)

Oh! And traveling anywhere up or down the coast on the weekend? Just a really bad idea if you like good gas mileage.

sigh

2011-07-20T22:33:00.003-07:00

Sometimes, something awesome has a serious down side...

Within the last 3 months, I found a boy here in my town to be Mistress to, part of me that I've been wanting to explore for a while now.

Within the last 5 DAYS, I found a Sir in my town, something I've been looking for since I figured out what kind of Sir I wanted. (I do have a really awesome Sir, but he's in a different state and extremely busy; not to mention my awesome husband TMAME, but he's in a different state than me too right now!)

Tomorrow, I go to my hometown on a whirl-wind trip to see several friends, then on NEXT Wednesday, I fly out to Las Angeles to live. I get to see my husband for the first time in two months, but I leave the others behind.

While I'm thrilled beyond belief to be with my husband and live in a place we have both wanted to move to for most of our adult lives, leaving my Sir and my boy and all my family and friends hurts my heart. A LOT.

Just... Bleh.

It's not impossible, really!

2011-06-16T07:52:00.001-07:00

This is how I squirt:

Triple squirt brought to you by RedTube - Home of free porn videos

because haters just can't step away from the blog...

2011-06-15T20:03:00.003-07:00

No more anonymous comments. If you can't sign your name to your accusations, you don't get to post.

If you don't like what I've written, don't fucking read it! It's that simple.

I may with-hold the whole truth sometimes, but the only people I flat out lie to is my parents, and quite frankly, after all the shit they've put me through, I'm okay with that.

crickets

2011-04-21T18:32:00.003-07:00

So I'm pretty sure hardly anyone visits anymore, seeing as how I don't ever update and all. So, I'll just use this for some random thoughts I've had lately.

Things I've learned in the past year or two:

My friend M is really distracting. He sent me a picture today just as I was getting ready to balance my checkbook. Took me three tries to get my online banking password entered correctly...

I am way more of a masochist than I ever wanted to admit, even to myself. I blame M.

Being a Dom is way different than just being a Sadist. And there are sadists who don't cuddle very well.

Some people (I'm looking at you, @Badbadgirlx) consider fucking to be their aftercare. For me, it's the cuddling. There must be lots of touching, caressing, and snuggling. I got lucky with M (and really lucky with TMAME), but gonna have to have a chat about that with B. (Bastard poured hot candle wax on me! He did introduce me to Mr. Hitachi, so I guess it's okay.)

A lover that KNOWS my body can make me cum more than someone who doesn't but has a hitachi. (There were a LOT of orgasm that day!)

Cadbury cream eggs are delicious. They almost make up for the fact that I'm going to be 39 in less than a week. (Next Wednesday, actually.)

Oh! And Frovatriptan is the b.o.m.b.! Migraines, BE GONE!

Yep, much more of a sadist than a masochist...

2011-01-10T08:17:00.001-08:00

You Scored as Switch

(((Note: This quiz is not totally comprehensive because of the length such a quiz would be. I kept it sex-based because I felt that psychological profiles and motivations were too complicated and vary too greatly among people that practice BDSM.)))

You know what you want but it has nothing to do with your own role in the bedroom. You have the ability to be flexible in that area which can be useful for exploring you sexuality with your partner.

Switch

100%

Sadist

93%

Bondage

86%

Exhibitionist / Voyeur

86%

Dominant

82%

Masochist

75%

Experimental

71%

Submissive

54%

Degradation Lover

39%

Vanilla

14%

Birthday HNT

2010-04-29T07:08:00.003-07:00

This past Tuesday was my birthday, and we celebrated Saturday night by going to a certain funky bar here in town. TMAME got me way too drunk and I spent more time puking than I did dancing. He's not ever allowed to do that to me again.

I finally got around to checking my camera on Monday, and realized that he took a LOT more pictures than I remember him taking! Mostly of my boobs.

So, for HNT this week, I give you Birthday Boobs!

Squirting PSA

2010-04-10T09:14:00.003-07:00

It's not a secret that I'm a squirter. I'm pretty open and up-front about it. I've not met a guy yet that doesn't swear to love it. Most don't understand why a woman would be embarrassed or even ashamed by squirting.

Here's the thing, though. When I squirt, I don't usually squirt like the girl in Orgasm School. Sure, I do sometimes. But usually, for me and several squirters I know, it's more like a waterfall or flood. Like pints of fluid. That amount in the video? That's just a trickle or a small stream.

Now, I am *not* ashamed or embarrassed when I squirt. But when the one who just made me flood starts going "holy shit!" and runs and gets a towel, it doesn't matter how many times they say "that is so hot!" afterwards, I feel like I should be embarrassed or ashamed. A less confident woman who has had this happen to her repeatedly *will* be embarrassed and/or ashamed.

I don't want to ever be made to feel like I should be embarrassed or ashamed of what my body does when I have pleasure. This means I do not like to orgasm in front of other people in a public setting. One, there's always a mess to clean up, and two, I don't want to hear bystanders going OMG!, or HOLY SHIT! I'd prefer a more reverent tone saying "wow, that is so awesome!" or even "I wish I could do that..."

So if you get the privilege to play with someone who squirts, and they tell you they squirt *a lot*, please try and be prepared for a proper reaction when the flood comes. We're not blowing smoke up your ass, we're trying to prepare you!

Oh, and waterproofing the play area is a good idea. Because you don't really want to sleep in the swamp we will turn your bed into. Trust me.

FIRE!

2010-01-25T09:01:00.004-08:00

This past Saturday TMAME and I attended a local rope class followed by a small rope play party that included, along with some flogging and a wicked single tail, FIRE PLAY!

Now, being somewhat of a pyromaniac, I've read Roxy's post about her experience with fire play, and I watched with fascination as the fire raced up and down a lovely lady's leg, butt and back. When the opportunity presented itself for TMAME and I to learn and play, I quickly stripped and hopped up on the table.

Now, as Roxy mentioned in her post, there are two ways to play, bouncing the lit wand on the skin, and dragging a wet, unlit wand across the body then setting it on fire.

Guess who's ticklish? Yeah, that's right, ME! So much so that when TMAME would drag the wet, unlit wand across me, I was kicking and laughing hysterically.

The bouncing effect? REALLY FUN! There was no pain, just a sensation of heat, and the warm caress of my lover's hand across my body. Plus a few tickles here and there from our instructor giving lessons of where not to let the alcohol run so the bits don't catch on fire.

There is a saying in our house, for sure.

"Give me pain and I will melt into the giver. Tickle me, and I am not responsible for any bodily injury you may sustain."

TMAME should know, I once accidentally kneed him across the face, and almost broke his nose.

Now, as I mentioned at the top, there was rope around us all day, but that, and me almost passing out while being tied, deserves it's own post.

in case you missed them

2009-12-03T09:54:00.003-08:00

These are the killer shoes I wore to the NYC Sex Blogger Calendar Release party.

Photo courtesy of @sroxy (thanks babe!)

e[lust] 2

2009-12-01T11:06:00.000-08:00

Photo courtesy of Twisted Monk

Welcome to e[lust] - your source for sexual intelligence and inspirations of lust from the smartest & sexiest bloggers! Whether you're looking for hot steamy smut, thought-provoking opinions or expert information, you're going to find it here. Want to be included in the next edition? Start with the rules, check out the schedule in the site's sidebar and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

♦ This Week's Top Three Posts ♦

The Heart of Darkness - "I swear that man can sense my fear like a hound scenting a rabbit, and just like the hound, his blood rises to it."

Forever... - "Forever is a beautiful idea, a wonderful goal, but it’s not a magic spell."

His First Fuck - "He stood there, obviously nervous, obviously aroused by what he had been witness to seconds earlier."

◊ e[lust] Editress ◊

I Dare You - "Aided by our clutches of printed papers, me hiding my nipples that could cut glass and him hiding the hard bulge in his dress pants, we scurried back to our cubes where the messages flew back and forth."

♦ Featured Post ♦

Who am I? - "I’ve been through a lot of shit in my life and couldn’t fit it all on one piece of poster board."

See also: Pleasurists #55 for all your sex toy review needs

All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

♦ Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships ♦

First. Confession #380
In Defense of Squirting
Forever...
Gender, Buck Angel, and Me
G Spot Orgasms: It's all about the clitoris
Spitroast
They May be Bi, But They're Still Boys
Why I Sometimes Fake Orgasms
Wonderland: The British in Bed

♦ Kink & Fetish ♦

The Workout (fiction)
I Am Not Clark Kent
Caning
Lips Parted
Curve
She brought her own toys
Rope Bondage: Hemp vs. Mfp
Phew! Another Hole
Hearts
My virginity and how I lost it..
Gift
Spicing it up: Bondage Materials

♦ Sex News, Interviews, Politics & Humor ♦

20 Questions with Cyd
This Ain't No Disney
A Thank You Note
Vegas Virgins
Sex and Happiness

♦ Erotic Writing ♦

1 Full Body Massage / 1 Happy Ending
The Slut Chronicles #7 ~ I Said No
To Do List
the date
And Your Hands and Your Lips and Your Tongue Tricks
Oh Fuuuck
I Get Around
Sometimes, Love Hurts
In The Dark
Making Up
Quickie - A Good Girl
What I Want You To Do To Me
Hitachi Fun
Her Curves
Carnal
marks she left
Wicked Wednesday: I Love Watching You Watching Me
Birthday Boy
Fucking & Making Love
Thy Mother and Thy Father: A Vodoun Love Spell
What Just Happened?
Happy Birthday Me
What Cums Around

Reflections, conflictions and contradictions

2009-11-21T08:42:00.004-08:00

Long before Diva became, well, Diva, I earned the nickname Diva myself. Except it wasn't really a good thing. You see, even back in the 4th grade when my reading group did a play for the rest of the class, I wanted to be the 'star'.

But growing up in the apocalyptic religion that I did, putting attention on oneself was a big no-no. All glory was to go to God.

Really, I wasn't allowed to even *have* my own dreams and ambitions, let alone *follow* them. And any school plays I wanted to be in, well, the scheduling always conflicted with church meetings that must *never* be missed unless ill or dying.

By the time I left the church, I was old enough to see the bad side of being famous, the cost if you will. The lack of privacy, the lack of control over what people say about you. I came out of the church with a huge need for control over my own life, so I knew that giving up that control for fame wasn't something I was willing to do. I wanted to live life on MY terms, not society's.

But I still dreamed about performing...

A few years ago, TMAME and I started attending various local plays. I realized that, unlike the movies, people of all ages shapes and sizes perform. I thought to myself at the time, hey, I could do that!

So what has held me back?

Time. Kids. Money. Oh, and FEAR.

I've lived most of my life in fear, that's how religion works. I chose to not live my life in fear the day I walked out of the church, so why am I letting it in my life now?

Well, two small kids don't really give you time to think about anything you might have missed doing in your life, that's for sure.

But my previous student loans are paid off, and the only thing stopping me from going to school is my inability to gather the courage to go and apply.

But I haven't truly found/decided on my passion...

I want to take drama classes. I want to take writing classes. I want to study the history of the bible. I'd love to take classes in sexology. There are so many different things I want to do, it makes it hard to decide. Which is a great de-motivator, of course, when added to FEAR, and just makes me lock up.

Will I eventually sign myself up for classes? Maybe, maybe not. The days where my daily mantra is "the world does *not*, in fact, revolve around me" makes me leary of fame and attention, because I *can* become the diva that everyone hates, and that's not the type of person I want to be.

Choices. Conflictions. Contradictions. This is my world. It's just like everyone else's.

Reflections and turning points

2009-11-16T12:50:00.005-08:00

Well, now that we've been to NYC and "partied with the Rockstars", I've decided that I *never* want to be a rockstar. I mean, I knew that before, but now, I *KNOW*.

I don't count followers or hit stats or track who's reading my blog. That's not why I write. I don't want to be on the Top 100 Sex Bloggers list. Really.

I don't want to be completely unknown, lord knows I love performing and being the center of attention, but I'd rather have my own little niche, where people that are important to me are the ones who give me feedback.

I guess it comes down to that I'd rather be a good friend than a good blogger. There are many times I fail at being a good friend, I don't want the pressure of being a bad blogger on top of that.

********

So back to our trip to NYC. TMAME and I had so much fun wandering around Manhattan both Friday and Saturday. I kept busy during the party (read: distracted from knowing NO one in a huge crowd) by making sure Monk, TMAME, Diva and Tess were all kept hydrated and fed during the event. I did mingle a bit with those bloggers/twitterati that I had met at the hotel, so I wasn't hiding the entire time. Just most of the time.

My reward was being suspended by Monk after the Rope Class on Saturday, and OMG, it was amazing.

Shortly into my suspension, I came to a very startling discovery. I crave touching. Both being touched and touching.

Now, my sister is laughing as she reads this because this is NOT how I come across to people. I usually have this "don't touch me" zone around me pretty much all the time. I like hugs, but only from friends. But this *touching* thing, yeah, I actually need lots of touching from my lovers/play partners. And I need to touch them back.

So this realization is going through my head at the same time I'm trying to be "in the moment" while Monk suspends me. Talk about a mind trip.

Add to that that we went to Ground Zero just hours before and it's no wonder I had to shut down for a few days and just soak up energy from those around me.

********

And this is the rope bracelet that TMAME gave me to wear at the party:

So very pretty!

pyjamas...

2009-11-12T10:15:00.002-08:00

I got so many compliments on my morning wear in NYC that I thought I would share the one part of the outfit I *didn't* take with me!

Happy HNT!

Some random thoughts about our trip to NYC

2009-11-08T19:45:00.004-08:00

It was

fun.

awesome.

disappointing.

incredibly sad.

incredibly beautiful.

life changing.

informative.

painful (both literally and emotionally)

So many emotions went through me in two very short days. My favorite part of the whole weekend was the life changing moment, but I don't think I'm ready to share that with anyone yet.

My second favorite part was meeting Audacia Ray and discussing her recent trip to India.

The sad part? Walking to Ground Zero. I visited NYC 17 years ago with my church group, and actually went to the observation deck at the top of one of the towers, and to see the huge hole left, both in the ground and in the skyline just made me want to cry. I barely held it together for the five minutes I spent in the museum.

And then we went to Twisted Monk's rope class! The switching between emotions was brutal. I finally processed a bit on the plane home, and let the tears flow enough to let it out.

I will never forget this past weekend, or the many awesome friends we've made.

The "Lifestyle"

2009-10-25T07:47:00.003-07:00

A few months ago, TMAME signed us up for the local swinger's Halloween party. I was not really looking forward to this, did he not remember the New Years Eve party? And every party we'd gone to prior? Besides, we were going to NEW YORK CITY, just a week after Halloween! But I said "I don't care" and "That's fine" and went along.

Now, there are two groups of swingers in our town. There's the Nascar crowd, and there's the Smug Urban Hipster crowd. And they're both fucked up in the head.

No one seems to have a secure enough relationship to actually show affection or flirt with someone not their spouse. Everyone waits until 2am before they actually show any interest in having sex with you, and then it's just a big orgy. Not that there's anything wrong with that...

But there's no real connection. TMAME and I have a rule that has served us very well in the swinger lifestyle. We only sleep with people that we could be friends with. We won't necessarily be their friends, but the possibility *must* be there. We just can't do random hook-ups without some sort of 'click' or spark between everyone.

My friend KC put it very well over on his last blog post (yes, he needs to blog more, he's fucking brilliant, but he recently got himself married and is disgustingly happy with my best friend now):

In the end though, it’s a meaningless distinction. Lots of married couples “play”, and without the need to create an exclusive “in crowd”. Fuck buddies? Common among single people. One night stands? Common as well. Funny, I don’t see much of it in the lifestyle crowd.

It didn’t become painfully obvious until I met a few people that really did swing. It was, hey, let’s have fun. Not, hey, let’s go to silly parties drink expensive martinis and pretend we are cool because we are secretly openly doing what so many other people are”.

So, at the end of the day, you have a group of people that like to brag about having fuck buddies and don’t do much else, and to me… well, that’s LAME.

In conclusion: If you don't understand the awesomeness that is Dr. Horrible, well, you probably won't get our sense of humor. (ONE fucking person out of two hundred knew who Captain Hammer was! ONE!)

Now we just need to get over our introvertness and get more involved in the kink community here. It's gotta be way more fun.

Of Anal and Fisting...

2009-10-24T06:53:00.004-07:00

So my friend Molly recently joined the A-team. Now, I may not have grown up Mormon, but I did grow up in an equally conservative religion where sex before marriage and being a homosexual wasn't allowed. Neither was smoking, but that's a different story.

To survive, I made myself think that all the things we weren't allowed to do were these horrible, awful things. I never let myself even consider doing them, they were wrong and against nature. And even though I left/got myself kicked out back before I met TMAME, it wasn't until after our first spawn was born that I mentally freed myself from those beliefs.

When you have to re-write the rules for your entire life-structure and belief system, you may as well re-write your sexual/marriage rules.

So anyway, back to being on the A-team. Even after figuring out that I L.O.V.E. playing with women, the anal area was completely off limits. Until a friend happened to mention how much she loved it, and how she now understood why the gay boys couldn't get enough.

What? It feels good for ME? Huh. So now I think about it, and casually mention it to TMAME, who, to his credit, doesn't jump up and down screaming with joy. Good man I've got there, yes he is.

So we start playing around back there. We ordered a Felix from our good friends Freddy & Eddy. They also hooked us up with a very nice butt plug from Tantus. It took us over three years to progress to the point where TMAME could actually insert his cock fully in my ass.

And he only stayed in for about 10 seconds before I exploded in orgasm.

Then, I got a Njoy Pure. The day I received it, I was going over to Molly's for a sex toy party, so I had TMAME insert it before I went out. I was so turned on and wet that I made myself orgasm on the drive over. At night. In the rain. Did I mention I was driving?

So where does the fisting come in? Well, I've been a fan of vaginal fisting for many many years. It's something the TMAME and I have done several times in the ten (TEN!) years we've been together.

Now, I'm not sure I'm stretchy enough for anal fisting, but listening to Matisse rapture on about it, and then Monk making a tweet about it yesterday, I was reminded of how much I love vag fisting, and hey, we haven't done that it a while! But I wanted TMAME to cum in my ass... Which should we do tonight?

Decisions, decisions.

When no coins are around, do both!

So that's how I managed to cum/explode last night, with a fist in my pussy and a Njoy Pure in my ass (keeping the cum from dripping out, I might add).

Good times.

Have you heard?

2009-10-22T12:45:00.005-07:00

There's this party that TMAME and I are going to in TWO* WEEKS!

Today, it was announced that THE Twisted Monk is going to throw a class on Saturday after the party!

I've already reserved my spot...

Can't wait to thank him personally for all the fun TMAME and I have had with his rope...

Happy HNT!

*edited because apparently I can't count...

Marked

2009-10-15T08:35:00.001-07:00

Normally I don't let anyone leave marks on me. TMAME, of course, leaves hickeys all over my neck that cause me turn bright red when a fellow mom at the pre-school notices.

So when I actually want a good marking, I make sure it's somewhere a bit more hidden than your average hickey.

Happy HNT!

Cookies

2009-10-08T09:51:00.002-07:00

How do you bake your cookies? Usually I'm in jeans, t-shirt and slippers (or barefoot), but just this once I wore heels and a rope harness. Special pictures for a special someone who was VERY appreciative!

*rigging and photo by TMAME

Orgasms

2009-10-05T08:55:00.003-07:00

I feel for hetero men, I really do. Women have very complicated bodies, and every woman, while similar, is different. What works for one may or may not work for another.

And there's different types of orgasms. Most women can only have clitoral orgasms. The g-spot can be elusive to some men, hell, even as a woman who HAS g-spot orgasms it's hard for me to get another woman off that way.

That being said, it's pretty easy to get me off at this point in my life. All you have to do is find the 'button' and there I go. It wasn't always like that.

I remember my very first orgasm. I was 23, and still a virgin. 23! Virgin! Hard to believe, right. Growing up in a fundamental (to say the least) religion and with a dad stuck in the 1950's (me and my mom weren't allowed to wear shorts into town) left me with a control freak complex. Add in that masturbation was taught as bad, it's a wonder I'm able to orgasm at all!

So my first orgasm was after I met my first husband, before we were engaged. I sucked up every ounce of courage and 'cool' I could manage and bought a 'massager' at Spencer's, then went home and tried it out. It took a few tries, but I finally managed. It felt really good, to say the least.

While married to my now ex, we pretty much followed the same script every time, with a few lite bondage scenes thrown in every now and then. I'd give him a hand job (so he could last longer HA!), some fucking, him getting me off clitorally with his fingers, then him fucking me till he came again. That's right, he got off twice every time, while I only got off once. Bastard. The fucking never lasted long enough. I could feel a build up, but he never lasted long enough for anything to happen, and apparently he never had the patience to use his hands inside of me.

I came out of that relationship with an aversion to hand jobs, to say the least. A decade later, I'm still working out that aversion. *sigh*

My first squirting orgasm was after I'd left my husband, living with a boyfriend. Again, I was home alone. (control freak, remember?) I held the vibrator to my clit even though I was past the point of orgasm, when it's usually too sensitive. I squirted while having a clitoral orgasm, y'all. Did you know you could do that? OMG, what a release! Even better than just a regular clit orgasm! Sadly, it would be a few more years before I squirted on a regular basis.

Then I got together with TMAME. I showed him what got me off, and it worked quite nicely. Regular clitoral orgasms. They were very good. Unlike every other guy I'd been with, he took what worked and switched things up after we got comfortable with each other. Sex wasn't the same script every time. He didn't get the whole tying me up, but he did it anyway, because he saw how much I liked it. We had a good sex life. It wasn't as wild as his previous relationships had been, but it was good.

And then we had babies.

As any woman who's had children will tell you, babies change your body. I pretty much got over my control freak issues, cause let me tell you, you have NO control over your body when you have a parasite growing in you!

At some point I started having g-spot orgasms, with squirting. But I was pretty much a one-and-done girl. I'd have one REALLY awesome orgasm, and then you couldn't touch me anymore.

And then one night, all of a sudden, out of the blue, for no rhyme or reason, I had multiple orgasms. I stopped counting at 15. I'd have one, he'd slow, I'd giggle, and say "more", until finally I couldn't take any more. There was a HUGE puddle on our Liberator throe that night.

After that, it was really easy to have multiple squirting g-spot orgasms. I'd still have my clit-gasms, because, lets face it, they're really nice too! And they feel different from a g-gasm.

And then I noticed I could have different styles of orgasms. They weren't just a different intensity, they were actually different. There's a g-spot orgasm that I have control over, and then there's one where I don't, it just sneaks up on me. I can have a clit orgasm that squirts, and one that doesn't.

They all feel different, too. Throw in different intensities for each, and you have almost an endless combination of orgasms.

Did I mention the anal orgasms we discovered I could have? Yeah. Apparently I'm really REALLY sensitive back there, so much so that with all the warming up and "fluffing" we do to get me prepared to accept his cock, by the time we get there, it takes about 20 seconds for me to have an orgasm. He barely has to move!

So yeah, I can have at least 5 DIFFERENT kinds of orgasms. And yes, I do realize how very lucky I am! Not to mention I have the bestest husband in the entire world, because he was willing to let me (and help me) push my boundaries at my own pace.

And now, TMAME 'gets' the tying me up. And the flogging. And the topping. *swoon*

I am such a lucky girl.

Casting

2009-10-01T11:08:00.003-07:00

So last night I went over to a friend's house and she did a cast of my chest for posterity. This is after she very lovingly oiled me up so the plaster wouldn't stick:

Putting the plaster on:

Waiting for it to dry...

She's promised to send me a photo of the finished product once she's done with, and I'll make sure to post it here. Happy HNT!

The question.

2009-09-25T15:12:00.003-07:00

It's simple question, but the answer is so very complicated. It's a necessary question in getting to know someone new.

"What other things might you enjoy?"

Now, for some, the answer might be as easy as saying "roller coasters, rock climbing and skydiving".

But when the person asking it has stated that he wants to "POUNCE WITH EXTREME PREJUDICE!" he's pretty much asking what I like sexually, right?

The answer is so very complicated, I like different things at different times. And it's almost easier to make a list of what I don't like. Or things I like but my body won't let me do anymore.

I love the feel of rope on my skin. The longer it takes to tie me up, the wetter I get. I love being restrained, either with or without rope. I love it rough. I love it when it's not rough. I love being teased, made to beg before I receive cock. I love having no foreplay, just a cock sliding all the way in. I love being submissive. I love fighting for control. I love having control.

See what I mean? Oh well.

I gave him enough to spin a tale that made me wet and turn my brain to mush when I read it.

And no, I'm not sharing the story here, it's mine, I tell you, MINE!

Hi!

2009-09-10T12:11:00.004-07:00

Miss me? Yeah, me too. Real life has been absolutely crazy, and it doesn't look like it's going to get any more sane than it is right now!

So both of my kids are in school (well, one is in preschool) and I actually have time to myself (HA!). Of course, Monk had to go and ask for photos for his website, so I've spent all my free time this week either being photographed or taking photographs.

I highly recommend tying up cute boys and taking pictures of them!

So for this week's HNT here's one of the extra pics we did:

Oh, and we've booked both our flight and our hotel room for the Calendar Launch Party in New York! Can.not.wait!

Hey, it's Thursday!

2009-05-21T10:03:00.006-07:00

Let's see if I have anything on my computer that I haven't shared for HNT yet....

Oh, I KNOW! I was going to do this and I totally forgot!

I've had my new boobs for a year now. Let's see how much they've changed, shall we?

Right after surgery, still with stitches:

Back in Ocotober last year:

Today:

and I still love them!

squee!

2009-04-26T14:34:00.002-07:00

It's almost my birthday! Going out to dinner tomorrow night with my family, playing Thursday night with a very nice (and hot) gentleman, not to mention all the crazy hot monkey sex with my hubby all week.

It's good be Queen.

HNT, part III

2009-04-02T08:30:00.000-07:00

wedding ring hnt, part II

2009-03-26T17:53:00.003-07:00

He may share it with others, but it still belongs to him!

Wedding ring HNT

2009-03-19T08:12:00.001-07:00

That would be a custom made ring, there is only one other in the world like it, and, currently, they're both sitting on my ring holder in the bathroom. Mine because I don't put it on until I'm ready for the day, and his because he works out in the morning on the way to work and the weights ding it up.

Well, crap

2009-02-26T07:54:00.002-08:00

I have been a total slacker and not posted anything at all except HNTs. Oh well.

Here's another! *smile*

Yes, it was cold enough to be wearing that coat outside, and we were in an unheated basement, no less!

My Main Man bought me that coat as a Christmas present one of our first years together. He had orginally bought me a different one early in November (missing the Christmas rush, smart guy), but I was a snot and wanted one with fur, so he very sweetly took me to return it and pick this one out BEFORE Christmas. I make sure to tell him several times each winter season how much I L.O.V.E. my coat.

It's Thursday!

2009-02-19T09:38:00.003-08:00

Even though I've got a nasty head cold, I managed to remember that today is HNT day. w00t!

Enjoy!

HNT!

2009-02-12T08:59:00.004-08:00

I'm going to be mean, and only post one picture today from my photo shoot last week. I know, I know, so mean, but dammit, this way I've got pictures for MONTHS!

That little pinky ring is my engagement ring to TMAME, fyi. He gave it me Christmas 2000, and made both myself and his mom cry in the process. Me, because even though we'd picked it out, he'd told me we didn't have the money, and I'd probably get it for Valentine's Day, and his mom, because I cried, I was so excited. We were already engaged, he'd asked me in September, in New Orleans on his birthday.

This photo shoot I did for him. A big Thank You goes out to my friend Surge for helping me out!

heh

2009-02-07T21:18:00.003-08:00

So I've been trying for MONTHS to get together with a friend of mine to do a photo shoot as a surprise for TMAME. I finally got my shit together and got it done a few days ago.

I've got several awesome pics for HNT's, for sure!

ugh

2009-01-10T07:20:00.002-08:00

I'm a horrible blogger, I'm sorry. The holidays are crazy around here, and if you follow me on twitter, you know that TMAME has been sick with a sinus infection, which included fainting at 3:30am last week (NOT fun for me), and being allergic to Amoxicillian, something we did not know.

But now the holidays are over, and I'm trying to get out of my winter funk. Well, after I take down the Christmas tree today.

2008-12-12T16:33:00.002-08:00

Goodbye, Betty.
(1923-2008)

Happy HNT!

2008-11-06T07:30:00.004-08:00

I've never really liked my legs, especially my thighs. I wasn't allowed to participate in sports while growing up due to the religion me parents raised me in. (Bad associations, you know, they could corrupt me. Not to mention taking time away from serving god.) So I've never really been active. But I started going to the gym and walking/running on the treadmill to lose the weight I'd gain after my second baby.

The boobs left. That sucked ass. But we've fixed that, so I don't hate my body anymore. And as a side effect of all of that walking, my legs are getting toned! I'm super excited about that! I've still got a ways to go, but for the first time ever, I'm starting to actually like my legs.

A new day.

2008-11-05T16:50:00.002-08:00

sigh

2008-10-28T11:38:00.002-07:00

I should know better. I really should.

Never, EVER tell the internet you're going on a date with someone new! It totally jinxes it!

So for now, dear internet, I don't think I'll be telling you about the lovely lady I met who wants to go out with me. Not even if we ever do get to go out!

I'm lazy, I know...

2008-10-23T07:27:00.005-07:00

Yeah, I only pop up around HNT, and even then it's only every other week or so. So what! *sticks tounge out*

So last weekend, we attended the Rope Dojo held by Midori (and DeLano) in Kansas City, MO. It was fucking AWESOME!

I mean, I got to do this to my Main Man!

And then we got to tie ourselves up to suspend ourselves! Yes, you read that right. We each did our own suspensions. That way if we fell and broke our head, it was our own damn fault. *No one fell and broke their head, that's for sure!

We had a great time, and learned so much from Midori and DeLano, they are such awesome people, and Kelly and Michelle (their partners) were awesome as well. It would be a challenge to find nicer people.

And thanks to the wonderful owners of the Center for Alternative Lifestyles that convinced Midori to come to Kansas City!

*maybe next post I'll tell you about the lovely lady who gave me her phone number while I was at work, we have a date tonight!*

It's Thursday!

2008-10-09T06:33:00.002-07:00

Y'all know what that means, right?! HNT!

Last week we broke in all our new rope, but some how missed getting a picture of the girls. Not that I was complaining, mind you!

If you're seriously jonesing for some boob-age, go check out Diva's post. I know I'm drooling.

Post 100!

2008-09-25T07:40:00.008-07:00

Holy crap! I've made it to 100 posts on this blog! And I'm WAY behind on a bunch of stuff.

First things first:

If you haven't heard about the New York City SexBloggers 2009 Calendar, you're missing out! Some really awesome women are putting this together for Audacia Ray's Sex Work Awareness Project and it should be just as awesome as the women themselves.

Second, My Main Man and I get to attend a class taught by Midori! I am SO very excited, and of course the first thing I did after registering was to order the expanded rope kit from Monk. And it finally arrived in the mail today! SQUEEEEEEE!

Isn't it pretty?!

And last, but certainly not least, I give you a lovely HNT for the week.

It's not quite the same as Tess' cleavage of the day, but it's my own personal version! Hope you like!

Sigh...

2008-09-22T17:28:00.001-07:00

I wish my 6am in the mornings were this hawt.

Client '6 In The Morning' from C L I E N T on Vimeo.

Sadly, 6am's around my house involve a two year old babe. NOT the same!

Happy Half Naked Thursday!

2008-09-11T06:25:00.000-07:00

Haven't taken any pictures lately, so here's some random body part shots for your enjoyment!

Smooches!

totally out of the loop

2008-09-04T16:57:00.003-07:00

I stole this quiz from THIS blog. He didn't even tell me he had this blog, thought he'd let me find it on my own, the bastard. (he's still the most awesomest man ever, though!)

Your result for The Sexual HELL Test...

HELL LEVEL 3

Raw score: 95%

There's a special place in Hell for you: the basement penthouse. You scored the nastiest possible score on the Sexual Hell Test. You have no sexual restraint whatsoever. You'll take pleasure however you can get it, and my guess is you get it a lot. If for some reason you don't right now, you will soon, as people in your category only tend to spiral down ever deeper into the abyss of carnality and delicious sin. Congratulations.

I, personally, think that this category is the best. Paradoxically enough, sexual liberation and indulgence can only bring you closer to purity.

AVOID: all but level 3 hellions like yourself. You wouldn't want to ruin anyone, now would you?

Take The Sexual HELL Test at HelloQuizzy

I rule!

Happy Thursday!

2008-08-28T06:49:00.003-07:00

There's been quite a bit of stress here in the Temple, but it's finally getting better now. A few weeks ago (hell, it's probably been a month already) I allowed my playmate to tie me up and do horribly delicious naughty things to me.

It was so much fun!

It's interesting, though, that I only allow TWO men to tie me up. Apparently, I have trust issues, who knew!

HNT and drama...

2008-08-07T12:19:00.004-07:00

Just to get the drama out of the way first, all I have to say about the bru-hawhaw that's going around right now is this:

Peter Pan Syndrome. Mind you, that's just my perception, and not a qualified diagnosis.

Anyway. On to the fun stuff!

My main man and I played with some of our lovely rope a few weeks ago, and I thought I'd share a bit.

I was quite pleased with how the new 'girls' did with the chest harness. *grin*

taking care of our own

2008-08-05T07:17:00.003-07:00

*I'm editing this post and leaving the important stuff up*

Sexual Freedom Defense and Education Fund:

www.sfldef.org

For those of us who live alternative lifestyles, this is a very important organization. They deserve our support.

life is not fair

2008-07-28T09:22:00.002-07:00

I finally found a muse and have a few posts in mind for this week, but this morning I recieved some horrible news.

A very close friend of mine found her fiance dead (by suicide) yesterday. Less than 6 months ago her ex-husband, father of her child, also committed suicide.

She's still numb right now.

We will be travelling to be with her soon.

it's thursday!

2008-07-24T07:03:00.002-07:00

Still looking for a muse for an actual post, but since it's Thursday, I thought I'd throw up another hnt for you! It is summer time, after all, and I've spent quite a bit of time at the pool with the kids. And the new girls:

HHNT!

2008-07-17T08:53:00.004-07:00

Finally! A post! An hnt post at that!

Everyone remembers this post by the beautiful Diva, right? I've been wanting some short skirts of my own, but with a small prince and an even smaller princess (the highnesses) it's hard to go shopping. So Diva and I corresponded, I found new short skirts, and then she said I had to post pictures.

So, for the lovely Diva, I give you the following (Happy HNT everyone!):

crap.

2008-07-14T07:27:00.002-07:00

Apparently, people actually read this blog. (I'm sure most are just here for the pictures, but still.)

I have pictures I need to post for the lovely Diva, but I'm still looking for my muse so I can start posting again.

In my defence, it is summer, and in trying to keep the kids from watching too much tv, we've been going to the pool and various parks quite a bit lately. There's a berry patch a few miles from us, hopefully either this week or next we'll actually make it there and spend a morning picking fresh blueberries and/or blackberries.

Oh, and I've joined the twitter crowd. If you'd like to follow me and my kids (exciting, I know!), shoot me an email and I'll let you know what my id is.

to the anonymous coward who left a book in my comments:

2008-06-23T08:21:00.004-07:00

wtf? srsly!

Clone host? Temps? Gangsters? The computer is God?

automatic transmissions dominate in the United States, and NOT for good reason. European vehicles historically are mostly manual, for they have more favor.
Females are the favored gender:::What cars DO have manuals here in the US have traditionally been marketted towards the women AND are those which get the highest mileage.
Buy manual transmissions. Automatics are NOT respected!!!

Are you insane? Nobody cares if your car has a manual or automatic transmission. Really. And if you care if your car is respected, well, you've got bigger problems you need to work out.

The funny part? The very last paragraph.

Muslims are your superior. They actually WORK on their relationship with the gods. You are corrupt Christians, slipping into godlessness, thinking someone is going to save you in the end.
"I'm going to do what I'm told." You learned temptation would be used to test you. These requests are the gods tempting you.
Lose the sense of "entitlement". It can only hurt you in the end.
This is the REAL battle of good and evil.

You assume that I believe in the Christian God. I don't. The Christian God does not exist. Neither does the Muslim God. Sorry to break it to you. Really.

btw, I deleted your comment, cause it's my blog and I can do that. (in honor of George Carlin, rip) FUCK off.

crazy life

2008-06-19T18:54:00.003-07:00

So I was getting ready to post my hnt for the day, and I wound up taking my princess to the emergency room instead. No pictures this week, sorry.

She's fine, she just did a typical two-year old thing and stuck a piece of chalk up her nose. We went to the pool after, even. But I'm exhausted, physically and mentally.

worth every damn penny we spent!

2008-06-12T05:00:00.005-07:00

I LOVE my new boobs!

I no longer hate my body anymore, yay!

Happy HNT!

2008-06-05T08:03:00.004-07:00

The new 'girls'!

*sigh*
My tan is fading, I really need to hit the pool or the tanning bed.
I still can't lay on my stomach, so pool it is!

tweaking things

2008-05-28T15:20:00.004-07:00

So I decided that I really couldn't stand reading white on black, so I switched things up/around. I may play around with fonts and colors for the next week or so, maybe even learn html, who knows.

what I've been up to the past month

2008-05-22T11:53:00.003-07:00

So I had the Best Birthday EVER thanks to my Main Man and a bunch of lovely people who participated. It was AWESOME! And then, I had surgery. But not just any surgery, oh no.

Stitches, one week after:

That's right, bitches! I got the top half of a mommy makeover!.

As you can see, one week out, they still look like cartoon boobs, but within a year, they will be awesome. Fortunately, with my clothes on, they don't look quite as cartoon-like!

Happy HNT, everyone!

yeah, i'm a slacker...

2008-05-21T13:42:00.003-07:00

but it's been a busy month! I PROMISE to have pictures up of my birthday/mother's day/anniversary present this Thursday. (yes, I only get one present for every holiday this year, except Christmas, it's THAT big!)

*smooches*

can I just say...

2008-04-27T10:05:00.011-07:00

I have the BEST HUSBAND EVER!

And I'm having the best birthday week EVER!

Tuesday:
She's my Main Man's sub, mine for the evening; he's graciously sharing her with me. She's face down on the bed, I'm rubbing my clit on her back and I've got my hand tangled in her hair at the base of her scalp, pulling. She reaches her left arm around and puts her fingers in my cunt, almost submerging her entire hand.

We quickly change positions on the bed, so that I'm on the bed
and she's over me.  Her hand slides easily into my waiting pussy.
As she twists her entire fist inside me, my orgasm shatters me.
She pulls her fist out long enough for me to gush, then slides it back
in.  Over and over she makes me explode on her bed, until I cannot
take any more.

Wednesday:
A quiet night at home, the couple we were supposed to play with has asked for a rain check (damn female 'issues'), so we will be playing sometime next week.

Thursday:
Out with friends, mostly vanilla, where we celebrate my upcoming surgery with cake.

Friday:
Dinner with the very first couple we ever played with. The entire evening I simply want to attack both of them, experiencing their kisses all over again. With no place (without kids) to play, I simply enjoy being in their company, and hope that we get to spend time with them soon.

Saturday:
One of the two men who knows my body the best holds down my chest and arms while the other one fucks my brains out. They take turns fucking me, and at one point, I have one cock in my mouth and another in my cunt. Absofuckinglutely awesome. My body quivers today just remembering.

Sunday (my actual birthday):
Dinner with my family-by-choice, the people I love most in the world. Somehow, I think it might pale in comparison with the rest of the week, but the steak will be excellent!

The Hotel is open!

2008-04-24T13:04:00.002-07:00

Hotel Bliss is open! Thank you so much, Bliss Warrior, for creating a haven for us bi-girls!

You can find me here.

a different kind of HNT

2008-04-24T08:33:00.005-07:00

Sitting at a table with his friends, he spotted the red head as she snaked her way to the restroom thru the crowd. Having a penchant for red hair, and a desire for that particular red head, he waited patiently for her return.

Always the lucky one, she walked right past his table on her way to the bar. He reached out and snagged her wrist as she went by. Her pissed off look was quickly replaced as recognition lit her eyes. She quite happily settled onto his lap as they murmured hellos and his hand caressed her leg, drifting up under her skirt. Their chaste hello kiss quickly became much deeper, and his hand caressed farther up her leg to the juncture of her thighs, feeling her satin thong go damp at his touch.

MMmmmmmmmm...

2008-04-22T07:57:00.003-07:00

So it's the start of my birthday week festivities, and I couldn't be more excited! Tonight is a lovely threesome with an awesome lady, Thursday night we are out with a bunch of vanilla friends, Friday is dinner with the very first couple we ever played with (and maybe more, who knows!), and if a certain single boy of my aquaintance ever calls me back, a threesome on Saturday!

We had a foursome scheduled for Wednesday night as well, but it's been postponed until next week, after my birthday.

Oh, and did I mention the very lovely apology from the guy who stood me up last week?

Now, if the sun would just come out again, this week would be PERFECT!

AURRRGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!

2008-04-18T09:02:00.003-07:00

Yeah, all that stuff I said about vanillas? Talking out of my ass. It's not vanillas, it's just MEN!

Well, most men, anyway, there are a few exceptions.

Last night, instead of meeting a new guy I found on one of our swinger sites, I spent the evening with a girlfriend bitching about men.

I realize that things come up, work keeps you late, whatever. At least have the decency to CALL ME and tell me you won't be able to keep our date instead of leaving me to wait for you to show.

Asshole.

I'd only date girls if I thought they'd be any less trouble.

HNT

2008-04-17T11:58:00.005-07:00

for your viewing pleasure, I give you my NEW robe from Victoria's:

The boob is just for you, Freddy.

10 things you've never seen on a Webcam (Brook Marks)

2008-04-16T07:08:00.001-07:00

Found over at Viviane's Sex Carnival:

and yes, I know tomorrow is Thursday, but I still haven't taken any pictures for it. I guess I should do that tonight, huh?

yeah, I know...

2008-04-12T13:48:00.002-07:00

I'm a slacker. I totally blew off HNT this week. Maybe next week.

In other news, I've had a mental breakthrough regarding vanillas. At least in regards to what I'm looking for. And this applies to both the males AND the females.

They may SAY they just want a hook-up or a fuck-buddy, but they're REALLY looking for a relationship. And they will always put looking for a relationship before looking for a hookup. Or their hook-ups are only with potential relationships. (And then there's the friend who's so totally involved with his new girl that he doesn't even have time for me to pick his brain about vanilla boys! Although he does share his ciggies with me and make me awesome sushi, so I guess I'll let it slide.)

And I'm okay with that aspect. I'm very tepidly putting my toes into the bi- and lesbian scene around here, so I'm going to try and remember this applies to BOTH sexes. Although I did have a very hot lady connect with me on Myspace today, AND she's local! So we'll see how it goes.

Also, my BIRTHDAY is coming up soon, and there will be a full week's worth of debauchery to be had. I've got two single guys, one couple (for a foursome), and two seperate threesomes lined up. Oh, don't you wish you were me! I can't wait!

And then I'll be out of commision for at least a month starting May 14th. But that's a story for another day.

wow

2008-04-08T10:51:00.002-07:00

What a crazy weekend! Needing to get out of the house on Saturday (to save my sanity), we went to a local bar where a friend of mine works and watched both of the NCAA games. *Slaughters, more like it*

And because one of our local teams won their game on Saturday, we used date night last night to go watch them play in the championship game. Fucking awesome game. We came home and promptly celebrated our team's win with hot crazy sex.

I don't watch basketball AT ALL, so I can't really say I'm a true fan, but we had so much fun. I'm pretty sure we're going to try to watch most of our local football team's games at the bar this year. Lord knows we're going to need lots of alcohol if they suck as bad as they did last year.

*yeah, I know this post is mostly about sports, but I've got nuthin' in the sex department today. Sorry.

HNT in the bathroom

2008-04-03T10:16:00.005-07:00

That's my gray bathrobe that's hiding what you really want to see!

I'm not usually a hip-hop fan

2008-03-31T13:17:00.002-07:00

but this boi is awesome!

Tanning HNT

2008-03-27T07:21:00.003-07:00

Yesterday I went tanning, and was reminded of all the times I've gone in the past, been bored, and taken pictures with my camera phone. Usually I send the pictures to my Main Man or a select boi to remind them that I'm NAKED RIGHT NOW! and don't they wish they were there! My Main Man L.O.V.E.S it!

A la Jefferson:

A bit more than Jefferson usually shows:

My tanning sticker:

Don't you just HATE evil angles like this!
You can ALMOST see what you want!

Yes, I'm evil. Haven't you figured that out yet?

for the kink community!

2008-03-23T19:09:00.003-07:00

So we've all heard of Myspace and Facebook, and all the other "social networking" sites out there. (I don't know all the names, those are the only two I have accounts with in my vanilla world.)

Now we have FetLife! It's still in the beginning stages, so I was early enough to actually get "Eris" as a screen name. w00t!

Look me up, add me as a friend. I've only got one friend (well, two if you count the starter guy) and he's married to me, so yeah.

HNT

2008-03-20T10:14:00.003-07:00

Happy Half-Naked Thursday!

These are the rope marks left on my ankles from last week!

W00T!

2008-03-14T14:17:00.001-07:00

Happy Steak and Blowjob day!

And for all you geeks out there, (one of whom I'm married to!),

Happy Pi Day!

HNT

2008-03-13T08:29:00.004-07:00

It's that time of week again!

This time, I bring you pictures from a very special evening. I let my Main Man actually 'Top' me completely. Pushed my boundaries. So much so that I was in tears by the end of the session. It was very enlightening, and completely reaffirmed to me that, while I LOVE bondage, I cannot deal with submission of my mind. There can be no punishment in bed for things that happened out of bed. It freaks me out.

Anyway, on to the good stuff! This was the start of the evening:

And this was in the middle. Notice the HUGE wet spot. We actually went through two of our Fascinator throes!

Good times!

Too funny not to post.

2008-03-07T08:18:00.003-08:00

thursday already?

2008-03-06T08:17:00.004-08:00

Wow, time flies when you're having fun! I haven't taken anything special for today's hnt, but I'm sure I've got something worthy in some corner of my computer. . .

Ah, here we go!

Enjoy!

Where's my money, dammit!

2008-03-05T08:52:00.000-08:00

Fuck the drama

2008-03-04T08:37:00.003-08:00

I've decided that I'm going to refuse to allow my birth family to ruin my life and put me back on anti-depressants, and they can kiss my ass.

Of course, finding DickHats via Diva via Tess helped quite a bit! I've so got to order me some of those! (order is in! I'll post pictures as soon as they get here!)

Boys, it's almost Steak and Blow job day, hope you've got a girl lined up that likes steak! (I LOVE steak!) Sadly, I don't think my jaw could survive more than one blow job a day, so I'm not available to anyone I'm not married to.

fucking drama

2008-03-03T11:42:00.002-08:00

Once again my birth family has taken my heart out and ripped it to shreds.

Suffice it to say that I will probably be laying low for a while, trying to fill this gaping hole in my heart, again.

Fucking religion.

It's Thursday!

2008-02-28T07:43:00.004-08:00

Aren't you excited?!

For your viewing pleasure, the rope marks from our 'date night' this past Monday!

And yes, that is the "precious" my hand is laying on. He used the "precious" (with just a little sting, not actual pain, I'm a wuss) on me after tying me to the bed so tight I couldn't move.
Fun times!

It's not me, it's you.

2008-02-26T08:57:00.003-08:00

Last Friday evening, I went to dinner with my Main Man's lover (who happens to be single and wicked smart) and we had a discussion about my previous post about vanillas.

Basically, her response was "Welcome to my world!"

For some reason, and I vaguely remember this from my dating experiences (almost 10 years ago), many guys like to chase, but as soon as you show interest and respond, they run away. And they do this to ALL the girls. Not just a select few.

But when a guy does that to a girl, usually she has no fucking clue as to why, is left completely bewildered and wonders what the hell she did wrong or if she isn't cute enough. It lowers our self-confidence and belief in ourselves.

And then these same men have the nerve to complain about women with no self-confidence.

Even though many of us women KNOW in our head that the rejection has nothing to us, it still bugs us. Why would someone show interest in us and then turn us down when we show interest back? It's just not... logical.

So yeah, I think I'm gonna just hang with the two really hot guys that I'm seeing right now. There will be no more random guys from the vanilla pool, that's for sure. And the next time I hear some vanilla guy complain about all the games women play on them, I'm gonna smack the shit out of them.

Sparkly HNT

2008-02-21T07:38:00.003-08:00

I liked these so much, I bought them in black, green AND purple!

They leave glitter EVERYWHERE!

of for the love of...

2008-02-16T09:12:00.003-08:00

People, when you kiss someone, please don't just stick your tongue down their throat and call it making out. Seriously.

Something I've noticed/discovered on this journey is that pretty much every person has their own style of kissing. Certain styles I like, a few I LOVE, and some I absolutely loathe. The above mentioned style would be one that I loathe. Not only is it kinda rude, its really messy, and it hurts my jaw.

Try seducing my mouth. Sounds silly, I know, but if you can't seduce my mouth, how do I know you can seduce my pussy? Are you going to just shove your cock/fingers up there without any foreplay? Let me tell you something about that.

IT HURTS.

Especially when those fingers have long nails and you're digging them into me.

Even with all that negativity last night, we did have a really awesome time with the couple that we hooked up with. It was so cute, the lovely lady kept asking if she could keep me! (she REALLY likes girls!)

Although I'm still looking for a lovely lady to hook up with that will let ME play with HER. Not that I don't like being pleasured, but I like to give it too! I need practice, damn it!

I think a certain lovely lady and I need to get together soon. We keep talking about it, but haven't gotten around to it yet.

*sigh*

HNT

2008-02-14T14:55:00.004-08:00

Just like I promised.

This is the sticker(s) I wore on my back when we went to our Mardi Gras party last week.

I originally had two pictures to upload, this one and one of my whole back, but for some reason I can't pull the other one from my Main Man's computer right now, and I didn't want to make you wait any longer!

Damn Vanillas

2008-02-12T10:18:00.000-08:00

What IS it with 'vanilla' guys? Seriously!

I've had TWO vanilla guys totally stand me up for a hookup! I mean, they SAY they want to hook up with me, but when it comes down to scheduling, they stop returning my messages. I mean, I know that everyone has a life and it gets busy sometimes, but damn!

Do they want MORE than just a hookup, or is the thought of a married woman just out for a good time turn them off for some reason?

It's not like I'm losing a friend if I let them go, but it still bugs my ego. It seems to be a bit more fragile than I thought.

I think I'll stick to the guys from the swinger's sites, they're really good at building up my ego. And giving me really lovely orgasms.

This week also includes Valentine's Day. My Main Man and I are going to a restaurant that a friend of ours manages, and it's always really good. I'm really craving one of his special sushi roles, so I need to remember to ask him for one! If he's working, that is. I forgot to ask him when we made our reservation. Oh well, I still need to find a sitter anyway!

And what's up with this really hot guy at the gym this morning that got on the treadmill right next to me JUST as I was finishing up? Dammit!

And I promise to get an HNT up this week. I had one for last week, but didn't get it uploaded to the computer in time. It's now ready to go, just waiting. PROMISE!

Exhaustion

2008-02-04T08:06:00.000-08:00

It's Monday, and I'm exhausted!

Thursday night I went out and met a girlfriend for drinks, then went over to see a really hot guy and had really hot sex with him (YUM!), and got home around midnight.

Friday night, my Main Man went out and saw a movie with his paramour, and of course I was still up when he got home at midnight.

Saturday night we went out to a Mardi Gras party and had an absolute blast! I think we got home around 2am.

And then there was yesterday. Sunday. Super Bowl Sunday. Can I just say how much I hate the Giants? It's not that I wanted the Patriots to win, I just really do NOT like the Giants. Bah.

All in all, it was a GREAT weekend!

But things have got to change.

Originally, the idea of playing separately was that one of us could go out one week, then the other got to go out the next week. Right now we're both going out every week, and it's just taking up too much time away from each other and away from the kids. The scheduling alone is a nightmare.

So, sad to say, by the first of March we are changing things up and will only be going out every other week instead of every week. Not only will this give my and my Main Man more time together, this will allow us to do more socially with our friends.

As someone who spends most of her time with small children, socialization is GOOD!

ugh

2008-01-24T11:43:00.000-08:00

Yeah, so it's HNT, and I feel like shit. Thank you, little prince, for bringing home those nasty germs from pre-school.

So, because I'm sick, you all get a very special picture today, one guaranteed to bring you to orgasm. (at least that's what my Main Man says).

*snicker*

That's right, peeps! Penguin socks! The ultimate in hotness!

Now if my sinuses would clear up, maybe my headache will go away.

updating the blogroll

2008-01-18T07:27:00.001-08:00

I finally went in and updated my links to include all the blogs I'm now reading. Have fun!

HNT

2008-01-17T09:26:00.000-08:00

from our last 'fetish friday' round of picture taking

Enjoy!

Date night!

2008-01-14T16:40:00.000-08:00

Every Monday night, I have a standing date with the most awesome-est man on earth. (Yes, I'm aware that isn't really a word, but I don't care.)

After we put the kids to bed early (they need sleep, yes they do!), me and my Main Man pop a movie in the dvd player (one we've usually borrowed from a friend, we're too cheap to go rent one) and enjoy the quiet of our house.

We ALWAYS finish the night with a round of really great sex.

I love Mondays!

Finally gettting around to it...

2008-01-12T07:21:00.001-08:00

Yeah, so it's almost two weeks into the new year, and I still haven't posted my resolutions. Big deal! They've been in my head for months!

1. Have sex down at the golf course after dark sometime. (How many years have we lived here and we still haven't done this? Oh right. Two small kids.)

2. Have sex in the rain. (I still haven't done this? How is that possible? Oh yeah, religious fundamentalism.)

That's it. All I've got. For now. I really should have thought of some I could do BEFORE summertime, but oh well.

I'd love to add have sex with Jefferson or be tied up/suspended by Monk, but I don't think our finances will afford us traveling to either of them. *sigh*

So anyway, I need volunteers for helping me complete my new years resolutions, especially the second one. Anyone willing to help a goddess out?

How many was that again?

2008-01-11T08:47:00.001-08:00

Last night, I had LOTS of lovely orgasms! Puddles EVERYWHERE!

On the couch, on the floor, in the shower, on the bed.......

Good times!

HNT!

2008-01-10T07:45:00.001-08:00

It's been a while, hasn't it?

Peeps, these are my size 6 jeans.
They're supposed to sit ABOVE my underwear!

I now have pretty new size 4 jeans (after 3 hours of shopping hell). They're nice and tight!

Because Wednesday night is the night we make love!

2008-01-09T07:49:00.000-08:00

Blatenly stolen from the awesome Susie Bright.

About freakin' time!

2008-01-05T08:15:00.000-08:00

I went out Thursday night and had really great sex with a really hot guy!

YUM!

And then I came home and had more hot sex with my main man!

A girl can NEVER have too much of really great sex. *giggle*

What a fucked up way to end the year.

2008-01-01T10:54:00.000-08:00

Well, due to a certain family member making assumptions based on my myspace profile, a hickey given to my husband by ME, and some random comment I said back at Thanksgiving, pictures may not be posted quite as often. And certain identifying features will be eliminated completely (such as my hair and our bedroom).

I know we're not the only ones to have had an awesome year end on such a crappy note, so here's to a better 2008.

It's GOT to be better than the way 2007 ended!

What the???

2007-12-28T10:31:00.000-08:00

What IS it with men? Every single one I have considered playing with, ages 24 to 38, asks for pictures! Including my husband! (He asks OTHER girls for pictures; he has plenty of me, after all, he takes them!)

I mean, I know you guys are visually minded, but DAMN!

So, new rule. You only get a picture of my 'cookie' if a/you take it (which means you're playing with it) and b/I get a picture of your cock. It's only fair, really. Guys aren't the only visual people, you know!

Think I'll just start asking for pictures first. Geez.

HNT, BABY!

2007-12-20T07:06:00.000-08:00

For your viewing pleasure as always!

Thank you, Monk, for all the hard work you do.
I'm sorry I ruined your awful day,
but I LOVE my Christmas present!

We'll be ordering more rope soon!

I heart Monk!

2007-12-19T15:12:00.000-08:00

This is what I got in the mail late last week! Aren't they pretty?!

And, after playing last night (for a very special HNT tomorrow),
we've decided we need more rope! A lot more rope!

Required Anonymity

The Price.

Random things

*sigh*

It's not impossible, really!

because haters just can't step away from the blog...

*crickets*

Yep, much more of a sadist than a masochist...

Birthday HNT

Squirting PSA

FIRE!

in case you missed them

e[lust] 2

Reflections, conflictions and contradictions

Reflections and turning points

pyjamas...

Some random thoughts about our trip to NYC

The "Lifestyle"

Of Anal and Fisting...

Have you heard?

Marked

Cookies

Orgasms

Casting

The question.

Hi!

Hey, it's Thursday!

squee!

HNT, part III

wedding ring hnt, part II

Wedding ring HNT

Well, crap

It's Thursday!

HNT!

heh

ugh

Happy HNT!

A new day.

*sigh*

I'm lazy, I know...

It's Thursday!

Post 100!

Sigh...

Happy Half Naked Thursday!

totally out of the loop

HELL LEVEL 3

Happy Thursday!

HNT and drama...

taking care of our own

life is not fair

it's thursday!

HHNT!

crap.

to the anonymous coward who left a book in my comments:

crazy life

worth every damn penny we spent!

Happy HNT!

tweaking things

what I've been up to the past month

yeah, i'm a slacker...

can I just say...

The Hotel is open!

a different kind of HNT

MMmmmmmmmm...

AURRRGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!

HNT

10 things you've never seen on a Webcam (Brook Marks)

yeah, I know...

wow

HNT in the bathroom

I'm not usually a hip-hop fan

Tanning HNT

for the kink community!

HNT

W00T!

HNT

Too funny not to post.

thursday already?

Where's my money, dammit!

Fuck the drama

sigh

crickets

sigh