Ode to my BoB.

Oh, BoB, you've been with me for so many years now, waiting patiently for your turn to play with me. You are one of many that rest in my drawer, but you are truly my favorite. Sleek, purple and hard you are, always willing to bring me to the heights of pleasure.

You were the first to give me the joy of female ejaculation, and will always hold a special place in my heart. You take away the screaming children and provided ecstasy in my showers and my bed.

But lately, you've been tired, slow even. You never fail to bring me bliss (this morning's was particularly fine, btw), but I can tell you're a bit worn out. So I have a present for you.

Fresh Batteries! I know you'll love them!

And tomorrow I'll complain about how fast you are! I can't wait!

I love you, BoB.