Body issues

Of course I think of all the things I want to write in this post at either midnight or 4am, when it's too damn cold to get out of bed and write it down.

Almost every woman I know has some issue with their body that they don't like. Usually it's how much they weigh. As if every single woman on the planet is supposed to look like the models on the runway. Or porn stars. *puke*

I LOVE my curves. LOVE LOVE LOVE them! Guys like them too. Just ask Sir Mix-a-Lot. (That happens to be my husband's favorite, song, btw.) I love having a small waist and fairly wide hips. I HATE shopping for jeans, though. They don't make jeans for girls with an ass. And my thighs, well, they will NEVER fit into any of the popular "skinny" jeans, and I'm totally okay with that. Other than that's the only style they're selling right now. What, did every other body style suddenly drop off the face of the earth?

Something else that totally pisses me off is these skinny-ass women with no curves, no belly fat and no ass to speak of bitching and moaning about how "fat" they are. Are you fucking kidding me? a/I don't want a body like that, and b/if I did, I'd be walking around like I was the muther fuckin bitch! If you've got a great body, stop complaining about it and own it! Grow some balls or something. Please. Hell, even if you DON'T have the 'perfect' body, it's still yours. Own it. Stop bitching.

Now, I made peace with my body many years ago. I liked my boob size, I liked my weight, I liked my butt. I guess I was one of the rare ones. (who knew!) When I complained about clothes not fitting me, it's usually ranting against the industry, not my body shape.

And then...

Children happened. Sneaky little bastards. Well, technically they're NOT bastards, but you know what I mean.

I gained weight. My boobs got bigger (that was REALLY nice). My ass got bigger. My clothes no longer fit me.

After my first child, it didn't really bother me much. Eventually I went back down to my pre-baby size. I was okay with that. Sacrifices have to be made to continue the gene pool. After my second baby, well, the weight didn't come back off. I had to work for it. And I was okay with that. After all, I'm a bit older than most new moms, and most women my age have to work to keep their body size.

I lost the extra weight. YAY!

Except my boobs left with all that extra weight. WHAT. THE. FUCK.

So now my jeans fit, but my bras don't. And with my curvy hips and butt, I NEED a little bit on top to balance things out! I don't even have a little bit anymore. This makes me very sad. I don't mind it so much when I'm naked, just when I'm dressed and there's no balance.

Right now, I'm cheating by wearing one of my older bras that makes it LOOK like I still have my boobs, but they don't fill my bra at all. *cries*

So tonight, I'm off to Vicky's to find a push-up that will at least give me the illusion of boobs under my clothes.

So even though guys really don't give a damn about how big or small your tits (or ass, or hips, or waist, or etc....) are (just show up naked, with beer would be awesome!), I will still be looking into 'enhancing' my silhouette. Dammit.