Reflections and turning points

Well, now that we've been to NYC and "partied with the Rockstars", I've decided that I *never* want to be a rockstar.  I mean, I knew that before, but now, I *KNOW*.

I don't count followers or hit stats or track who's reading my blog.  That's not why I write.  I don't want to be on the Top 100 Sex Bloggers list.  Really.  

I don't want to be completely unknown, lord knows I love performing and being the center of attention, but I'd rather have my own little niche, where people that are important to me are the ones who give me feedback.  

I guess it comes down to that I'd rather be a good friend than a good blogger.  There are many times I fail at being a good friend, I don't want the pressure of being a bad blogger on top of that.

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So back to our trip to NYC.  TMAME and I had so much fun wandering around Manhattan both Friday and Saturday.  I kept busy during the party (read: distracted from knowing NO one in a huge crowd) by making sure Monk, TMAME, Diva and Tess were all kept hydrated and fed during the event.  I did mingle a bit with those bloggers/twitterati that I had met at the hotel, so I wasn't hiding the entire time.  Just most of the time.

My reward was being suspended by Monk after the Rope Class on Saturday, and OMG, it was amazing.  

Shortly into my suspension, I came to a very startling discovery.  I crave touching.  Both being touched and touching.  

Now, my sister is laughing as she reads this because this is NOT how I come across to people.  I usually have this "don't touch me" zone around me pretty much all the time.  I like hugs, but only from friends.  But this *touching* thing, yeah, I actually need lots of touching from my lovers/play partners.  And I need to touch them back.  

So this realization is going through my head at the same time I'm trying to be "in the moment" while Monk suspends me.  Talk about a mind trip.  

Add to that that we went to Ground Zero just hours before and it's no wonder I had to shut down for a few days and just soak up energy from those around me.  

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And this is the rope bracelet that TMAME gave me to wear at the party:

So very pretty!

Some random thoughts about our trip to NYC

It was

fun.

awesome.

disappointing.

incredibly sad.

incredibly beautiful.

life changing.

informative.

painful (both literally and emotionally)

So many emotions went through me in two very short days.  My favorite part of the whole weekend was the life changing moment, but I don't think I'm ready to share that with anyone yet.

My second favorite part was meeting Audacia Ray and discussing her recent trip to India.  

The sad part?  Walking to Ground Zero.  I visited NYC 17 years ago with my church group, and actually went to the observation deck at the top of one of the towers, and to see the huge hole left, both in the ground and in the skyline just made me want to cry.  I barely held it together for the five minutes I spent in the museum.

And then we went to Twisted Monk's rope class!  The switching between emotions was brutal.  I finally processed a bit on the plane home, and let the tears flow enough to let it out.  

I will never forget this past weekend, or the many awesome friends we've made.  

Of Anal and Fisting...

So my friend Molly recently joined the A-team.  Now, I may not have grown up Mormon, but I did grow up in an equally conservative religion where sex before marriage and being a homosexual wasn't allowed.  Neither was smoking, but that's a different story.

To survive, I made myself think that all the things we weren't allowed to do were these horrible, awful things.  I never let myself even consider doing them, they were wrong and against nature.  And even though I left/got myself kicked out back before I met TMAME, it wasn't until after our first spawn was born that I mentally freed myself from those beliefs.

When you have to re-write the rules for your entire life-structure and belief system, you may as well re-write your sexual/marriage rules. 

So anyway, back to being on the A-team.  Even after figuring out that I L.O.V.E. playing with women, the anal area was completely off limits.  Until a friend happened to mention how much she loved it, and how she now understood why the gay boys couldn't get enough.

What?  It feels good for ME?  Huh.  So now I think about it, and casually mention it to TMAME, who, to his credit, doesn't jump up and down screaming with joy.  Good man I've got there, yes he is.

So we start playing around back there.  We ordered a Felix from our good friends Freddy & Eddy.  They also hooked us up with a very nice butt plug from Tantus.  It took us over three years to progress to the point where TMAME could actually insert his cock fully in my ass.  

And he only stayed in for about 10 seconds before I exploded in orgasm.  

Then, I got a Njoy Pure.  The day I received it, I was going over to Molly's for a sex toy party, so I had TMAME insert it before I went out.  I was so turned on and wet that I made myself orgasm on the drive over.  At night.  In the rain.  Did I mention I was driving?

So where does the fisting come in?  Well, I've been a fan of vaginal fisting for many many years.  It's something the TMAME and I have done several times in the ten (TEN!) years we've been together.  

Now, I'm not sure I'm stretchy enough for anal fisting, but listening to Matisse rapture on about it, and then Monk making a tweet about it yesterday, I was reminded of how much I love vag fisting, and hey, we haven't done that it a while!  But I wanted TMAME to cum in my ass...  Which should we do tonight?

Decisions, decisions.  

When no coins are around, do both!  

So that's how I managed to cum/explode last night, with a fist in my pussy and a Njoy Pure in my ass (keeping the cum from dripping out, I might add).

Good times.

Have you heard?

There's this party that TMAME and I are going to in TWO* WEEKS! 

Today, it was announced that THE Twisted Monk is going to throw a class on Saturday after the party!  

I've already reserved my spot...  

Can't wait to thank him personally for all the fun TMAME and I have had with his rope...

Happy HNT!

*edited because apparently I can't count...

Hi!

Miss me?  Yeah, me too.  Real life has been absolutely crazy, and it doesn't look like it's going to get any more sane than it is right now! 

So both of my kids are in school (well, one is in preschool) and I actually have time to myself (HA!).  Of course, Monk had to go and ask for photos for his website, so I've spent all my free time this week either being photographed or taking photographs.

I highly recommend tying up cute boys and taking pictures of them!

So for this week's HNT here's one of the extra pics we did:

Oh, and we've booked both our flight and our hotel room for the Calendar Launch Party in New York!  Can.not.wait!

Post 100!

Holy crap!  I've made it to 100 posts on this blog!  And I'm WAY behind on a bunch of stuff.

First things first:

If you haven't heard about the New York City SexBloggers 2009 Calendar, you're missing out!  Some really awesome women are putting this together for Audacia Ray's Sex Work Awareness Project and it should be just as awesome as the women themselves.

Second, My Main Man and I get to attend a class taught by Midori!  I am SO very excited, and of course the first thing I did after registering was to order the expanded rope kit from Monk.  And it finally arrived in the mail today!  SQUEEEEEEE!

Isn't it pretty?!

And last, but certainly not least, I give you a lovely HNT for the week.

It's not quite the same as Tess' cleavage of the day, but it's my own personal version!  Hope you like!

Finally gettting around to it...

Yeah, so it's almost two weeks into the new year, and I still haven't posted my resolutions. Big deal! They've been in my head for months!

1. Have sex down at the golf course after dark sometime. (How many years have we lived here and we still haven't done this? Oh right. Two small kids.)

2. Have sex in the rain. (I still haven't done this? How is that possible? Oh yeah, religious fundamentalism.)

That's it. All I've got. For now. I really should have thought of some I could do BEFORE summertime, but oh well.

I'd love to add have sex with Jefferson or be tied up/suspended by Monk, but I don't think our finances will afford us traveling to either of them. *sigh*

So anyway, I need volunteers for helping me complete my new years resolutions, especially the second one. Anyone willing to help a goddess out?

HNT, BABY!

For your viewing pleasure as always!

Thank you, Monk, for all the hard work you do.
I'm sorry I ruined your awful day,
but I LOVE my Christmas present!

We'll be ordering more rope soon!

I heart Monk!

This is what I got in the mail late last week! Aren't they pretty?!

And, after playing last night (for a very special HNT tomorrow),
we've decided we need more rope! A lot more rope!

SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

My Christmas package came today!

Pictures within a few days!

drool.....

So last week, Monk, of Twisted Monk.com posted this on his blog. How fucking cool is that!?

Well, for Christmas this year, I wanted this, along with a pair of boyshorts and a stealth cami. My Main Man said I was totally worth it and to go ahead and place my order.

Naturally, I made a note mentioning that I would like a boot print as well, which prompted an email exchange between Monk and myself. After letting him know of my posting name (vs. the real name I used to make the order), he told me he would personally be putting my box together!

Squeeeeeeeeeeeee! I may have to order another pair of boyshorts to actually wear, so I never have to wash the ones he steps on!

I will be taking pictures, though!